Hello world, it's been a while.
I've been pretty unconsistent on this blog and for this, I apologize. Even though I think it's a good sign as well as a not so good one. On the one hand, it means I'm too busy to worry about my life and write about stuff that upsets or scares me, on the other, my creativity has been flirting with the sealevel for more than a year now. I had a few little sparks of enlightment happening to me once in a while, but nothing consistent or worth persevering on.
What happened during the past year in my life? Let's see... I fell in love in the late summer and stumbled off my cloud roughly in the middle of winter. Exactly a month after this unexpected fall, thinking I couldn't fall deeper, I had a very disturbing encounter putting me to the edge, forcing me to pause and put my life in perspective, take a breath, think for a second, in order to avoid entering a vicious circle of selfdestruction. Once the fire put out and the ashes dusted, I spreaded my wings slowly and carefully again and reality catched up with me. My master thesis wasn't gonna write itself, it was late March and it was about time I reconnected with the world and its responsabilities.
Ever since, it's been a quiet and lonesome time. Working on a project as big as the final piece of your six years of studies can be pretty insightful and a good way to test yourself, your strength, your nerves, your selfconfidence and your patience.
But once most of the research was done, around three months later, I started to take again some time for myself. I had surprised myself noticing in the meantime that I could go several weeks without a thought for my lost love. Feeling the healing process going its course is a warm feeling, it is comforting and reassuring. I was now ready to mingle with the crowd again.
In the last few weeks, I met incredible people, from all around the world, and of various horizons and interests. Who thought I could find that atmosphere in Brussels? I guess anyone but me, so far! The change feels good, I breathe again, I feel my bones again. And the thesis writing process is going its course as planned. Sure, I still have the usual pinch of doubt kicking in whenever I'm writing a paragraph, my wellknown lack of confidence not being that easy to shake off obviously. But it's still satisfactory to see the words adding up and formulating what's been occupying my mind every day and night for the last 4 to 5 months. I'm obsessed with it, I wann do it right.
The countdown has started, in exactly 22 days at the latest, I will have to hand it in and pray for the best. The oral defense of it takes place sometime around early September and I'll sure be stressed as hell by then, but one step at a time. Two thirds are now written. The last part should be layed on paper by the end of this week. Next week re-reading and editing are on the menu. And then, it won't be in my hands anymore.
But as I said, the last few weeks weren't only about work. I met people, certain people in particular. Let's say one, more specifically... I can't say what it is yet, because I don't know it myself, but it feels promising so far and I sure hope the future has good cards planned out for us. All I know is that it is the first time since the year started that I've smiled that much and who knows, 2011 might even not be all in all that bad after all...
I've been pretty unconsistent on this blog and for this, I apologize. Even though I think it's a good sign as well as a not so good one. On the one hand, it means I'm too busy to worry about my life and write about stuff that upsets or scares me, on the other, my creativity has been flirting with the sealevel for more than a year now. I had a few little sparks of enlightment happening to me once in a while, but nothing consistent or worth persevering on.
What happened during the past year in my life? Let's see... I fell in love in the late summer and stumbled off my cloud roughly in the middle of winter. Exactly a month after this unexpected fall, thinking I couldn't fall deeper, I had a very disturbing encounter putting me to the edge, forcing me to pause and put my life in perspective, take a breath, think for a second, in order to avoid entering a vicious circle of selfdestruction. Once the fire put out and the ashes dusted, I spreaded my wings slowly and carefully again and reality catched up with me. My master thesis wasn't gonna write itself, it was late March and it was about time I reconnected with the world and its responsabilities.
Ever since, it's been a quiet and lonesome time. Working on a project as big as the final piece of your six years of studies can be pretty insightful and a good way to test yourself, your strength, your nerves, your selfconfidence and your patience.
But once most of the research was done, around three months later, I started to take again some time for myself. I had surprised myself noticing in the meantime that I could go several weeks without a thought for my lost love. Feeling the healing process going its course is a warm feeling, it is comforting and reassuring. I was now ready to mingle with the crowd again.
In the last few weeks, I met incredible people, from all around the world, and of various horizons and interests. Who thought I could find that atmosphere in Brussels? I guess anyone but me, so far! The change feels good, I breathe again, I feel my bones again. And the thesis writing process is going its course as planned. Sure, I still have the usual pinch of doubt kicking in whenever I'm writing a paragraph, my wellknown lack of confidence not being that easy to shake off obviously. But it's still satisfactory to see the words adding up and formulating what's been occupying my mind every day and night for the last 4 to 5 months. I'm obsessed with it, I wann do it right.
The countdown has started, in exactly 22 days at the latest, I will have to hand it in and pray for the best. The oral defense of it takes place sometime around early September and I'll sure be stressed as hell by then, but one step at a time. Two thirds are now written. The last part should be layed on paper by the end of this week. Next week re-reading and editing are on the menu. And then, it won't be in my hands anymore.
But as I said, the last few weeks weren't only about work. I met people, certain people in particular. Let's say one, more specifically... I can't say what it is yet, because I don't know it myself, but it feels promising so far and I sure hope the future has good cards planned out for us. All I know is that it is the first time since the year started that I've smiled that much and who knows, 2011 might even not be all in all that bad after all...
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